More than a year ago one of my girlfriends related a sad scene she had witnessed at the Stepanakert maternity ward. A small young girl, after giving birth, stood by the window for hours on end, waiting for the father of the child to appear. Who might have guessed on old this girl with the large eyes really was; but she appeared to be not much older than a child. And for whom was she waiting with such yearning? There was something familiar in the situation that this girl, whose name I later learnt was Silva, found herself in. It was something common to many Karabakh women in the post-war period; a pervading sensation of loneliness.

But this was somewhat of an unusual case. 

It seemed that I’d never get a chance to see Silva but as fate would have it I appeared on her doorstep one day. Only then, within the confines of that decrepit village house, was I forced to once again relive that frail girl’s destiny. Not only to relive it but to more fully view the destiny of numerous defenseless Karabakh women in the post-war period who have suffered from injustice. Till this day I cannot shake free from the notion that has haunted me – does a woman really require all that much in today’s world? Nevertheless, it is difficult to come to grips with the notion that it is possible to be happy with a life that has been stripped of things so dear and irreplaceable.  

But, most probably, that itself is life. When Silva first fell in love she was in the eighth grade. At the time she thought it was bliss. All her fellow classmates were jealous. She was the object of attention of the most popular guy around and who was much older than her. Her girlfriends had to go to class but she, like a grown-up girl, was running off to meet the man she loved. 

Her mother was against the match but she could do nothing. She didn’t want her girl to end up with such a fate. She had also fell in love but it turned out that she remained alone and her daughter never met her father. But the girl was stubborn and didn’t want to hear any advice. She was in love, what could you do? Then one day her self-professed bridegroom showed up and whisked her away in his car.  

You can’t conceal anything in a village and soon the news that her daughter had run away reached her mother. The poor woman dropped everything and ran after her. She caught up with them in the woods. She grabbed her daughter and they returned home in silence. There was no one they could turn to for protection. There was no husband or father and her brother had been killed in the war Nine months later Ovsanna was born. The mother pondered, “Isn’t the girl perhaps following in my footsteps?” Not everyone around was of a compassionate and understanding nature. Frequently you don’t even hear a good-natured word, let alone a kind one. 

A year hadn’t passed when Silva fell in love once again. The mother again became concerned. What is going on? Why does my girl meet up with such young guys? Even though he is young and good looking and likes Silva a lot, there’s a certain jealous streak about him and a sense of confusion. He doesn’t let her leave the house, to work or go to school. True, this one didn’t abandon Silva like the first one. And it seems that he cares; he comes home and gives her spending money. He even demanded that Silva bear him a son, which immediately came true. Perhaps the mother feared opposing the new ‘master’ of her destiny. 

But the mother hadn’t dreamt of such a life. It was necessary to love. They sold the apartment in the city and moved kit and caboodle to the village, to live with grandma. They started to raise chickens and other domesticated animals and began to work on their garden plot. The mother found work in the town. True, she had to make it into town every day but at least they had money for flour. They learnt how to bake bread. Then too, there was the tiny pension that grandma received. 

Three women… the same fate. Grandma would say that nowadays there are no decent young men around, that they either were killed in the war or had moved out of Karabakh and that thus you have to get by with what you have. And what does this lead to? Basically you have a mother, herself not more than a child, who stays at home raising her own child. All the while her girlfriends are off studying, learning a profession and entering into successful marriages. As for Silva; so beautiful, kind and dutiful... Why oh why did everything have to turn out so? But these were the anxieties of the mother. As for Silva, she says, “What else could I possibly need? I have kids, a mother and a grandmother. I both love and am loved. I require nothing else. All that I have fills me with contentment. I am at peace and happy.” 

Stepanakert

Alvard Grigoryan